March 2015 CENTRE EMPLOYEE NEWSLETTER
EXTRATERRESTRIAL ABDUCTION DAY!
The Centre’s Xenoarcheology Department will be sponsoring an exhibit in the Main Concourse this week in honor of the International ET Abduction Day. They have been hard at work with the Area-51 Annex and are thrilled to present asteroid art, moonrock munchies, and alien activities for employees of all ages.
Make sure you stop by- the exhibit will be open 24/7 with special activities planned in the Observatory each night. In the words of Project Coordinator Linda, they are simply “out of this world!”
ANNUAL TULIP FESTIVAL
It has come to our attention that it is, once again, Blue Cove Restaurant Week.
The horticultural society here at the Centre is pleased to announce their annual spring gardening day in the biotracts. They are particularly thrilled about the crop of tulips that has started to blossom, and would like to assure all planning on attending that the herbicide used is completely harmless.
Risk Management, however, would offer a word of precaution and recommends that lunch not be taken there for the next two weeks or so, and any Sweepers, Cleaners, or Associates who use the biotracts to hunt game or for target practice are urged to find another location for the time being.
Fresh off of winning nearly every television-related award these last few months, Dean McCann, star of the hit show “Bayou Blue” has been seen around the halls of the Centre. He is lobbying against agitated residents in Vancouver, B.C. and we are very proud to announce he is one of the Centre’s new client line up.
If you spot his dazzling smile or sparkling blue eyes in the cafeteria or elevator, please refrain from autographs or “selfies.” He is just as normal as Mr. Raines.
Baby Parker’s Birthday Party
Mr. Parker is excusing all Centre Employees for the celebration of Baby Parker’s birthday this year. In addition to cake served in all commissaries and snack bars, there will be a carnival in the north lawn, at the specific request of the ASSMO.
Popcorn and cotton candy will be available, as well as select rides and a dunk tank. A signup sheet is on the intranet and we are thrilled to see that Mr. Lyle and Mr. Raines have both signed up!
We ask everyone in the science departments to ensure that there is coverage on all ongoing experiments if project coordinators are planning to attend.
We do not want a repeat of last year’s animal stampede in SL-2. Many thanks for your cooperation.
ARG FUN FOR ALL!
Christian Bradley (or Bradley Christian? Management can never get his name right) has offered to teach “ARG for Advanced Dummies” in the Alternate Reality Holosuite next to the Tech Room!
Please bring an injury release form, a computer (no, Mari, those new computer watches do not count), and your imagination.
Fees will be $10 per session, mainly to cover the gourmet snacks we will be bringing in from the new Organic Food Truck that will be making rounds throughout the Centre grounds this month.
Stay tuned for menus and more details!