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May 10th, you will be able to prove your sprinting skills with a 5K fun run around the Centre’s campus, sponsored by the Sweeper Extracurricular Association and the Centre’s Jogging Team.
Be sure to have appropriate running gear – walking shoes will damage your knees and feet and can ultimately ruin the whole experience for you, and we want you to have fun! Supervisors will be granting 2 hours administrative leave for participants.
The entry fee is $10 and you will get a free t-shirt and water bottle after the race! The jogging team also has running gear available for purchase in SL-9. Sign up today, by emailing, and specify whether you are a novice or advanced runner.
Our Executive Chef and staff will be providing fresh fruit and water stations along the route, but be sure to stay hydrated! We don’t want and fainting or collisions in the course!


Grab your shovels and let’s start working!
Starting this month, for all garden and farming enthusiasts, we will be opening small plots on our northern grounds. If you want to enroll in the program, please talk to the MO and fill out the enclosed form.
Our soil and temperature is perfect for strawberries, tomatoes and lettuce, perfect for our chef to use on his amazing dishes. Please- no flesh eating botanicals… we have plenty in our labs and they are quite a handful!


Last year, Amalia Gazp received the highly desired Catherine Parker Award for Service to the Centre. May will bring about our annual Awards Ceremony, so please send nominations to by May 1 for this year’s winner. We promise the prizes will be a scream!


For security reasons, the Blue Cove City Council requests our compliance in the annual fire drill and emergency preparedness seminar to ensure all employees are aware how to proceed in case of fire or an emergency.

The Centre prides itself on being fire-free since 1987, when a huge blaze consumed an entire sub-level, but being safe is always our priority. Because of that, attendance is mandatory.  We will have members of the Centre’s Volunteer Fire Brigade on hand before and after the training to answer any questions.  Miss Emily, the ASSMO, has been recently elected Chief of the squad and can be reached if there is interest in volunteering.

To complete your fire and emergency training requirement, the course will occur at 9am, next Friday, April 17th. Bring comfortable shoes and light clothes as you will be moving a lot. Proceed as usual until the alarm sounds, then follow your supervisor’s instructions.  All employees with any sort of portable oxygen system must take a prerequisite course in bodily safety.  Keep an eye out in your email for scheduling next week.



All employees are invited for Miss Jacci’s Birthday Party on the 29th. No special attire is necessary, but some discretion is advisable (wearing only a Speedo- leopard print or not- will result in dismissal from the party after what happened last year) and Ms. Kylie is requesting no crop tops either. We are, after all, a family oriented company, and we would like to avoid having the entire lower division in the day care attempt to cut up their clothes in imitation.
We understand other co-workers are celebrating their birthdays this month as well. Please speak to the Christina in the HR department to book your party or to join this one. Finally, the board appreciates that all noise is kept to a minimum as not to disturb the residents. Thanks!




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The Centre’s Xenoarcheology Department will be sponsoring an exhibit in the Main Concourse this week in honor of the International ET Abduction Day. They have been hard at work with the Area-51 Annex and are thrilled to present asteroid art, moonrock munchies, and alien activities for employees of all ages.
Make sure you stop by- the exhibit will be open 24/7 with special activities planned in the Observatory each night. In the words of Project Coordinator Linda, they are simply “out of this world!”


It has come to our attention that it is, once again, Blue Cove Restaurant Week.

The horticultural society here at the Centre is pleased to announce their annual spring gardening day in the biotracts. They are particularly thrilled about the crop of tulips that has started to blossom, and would like to assure all planning on attending that the herbicide used is completely harmless.

Risk Management, however, would offer a word of precaution and recommends that lunch not be taken there for the next two weeks or so, and any Sweepers, Cleaners, or Associates who use the biotracts to hunt game or for target practice are urged to find another location for the time being.

Celebrity Sightings?

Fresh off of winning nearly every television-related award these last few months, Dean McCann, star of the hit show “Bayou Blue” has been seen around the halls of the Centre. He is lobbying against agitated residents in Vancouver, B.C. and we are very proud to announce he is one of the Centre’s new client line up.

If you spot his dazzling smile or sparkling blue eyes in the cafeteria or elevator, please refrain from autographs or “selfies.” He is just as normal as Mr. Raines.

Baby Parker’s Birthday Party

Mr. Parker is excusing all Centre Employees for the celebration of Baby Parker’s birthday this year.  In addition to cake served in all commissaries and snack bars, there will be a carnival in the north lawn, at the specific request of the ASSMO.

Popcorn and cotton candy will be available, as well as select rides and a dunk tank. A signup sheet is on the intranet and we are thrilled to see that Mr. Lyle and Mr. Raines have both signed up!

We ask everyone in the science departments to ensure that there is coverage on all ongoing experiments if project coordinators are planning to attend.

We do not want a repeat of last year’s animal stampede in SL-2. Many thanks for your cooperation.



Christian Bradley (or Bradley Christian? Management can never get his name right) has offered to teach “ARG for Advanced Dummies” in the Alternate Reality Holosuite next to the Tech Room!

Please bring an injury release form, a computer (no, Mari, those new computer watches do not count), and your imagination.

Fees will be $10 per session, mainly to cover the gourmet snacks we will be bringing in from the new Organic Food Truck that will be making rounds throughout the Centre grounds this month.

Stay tuned for menus and more details!




Saving Luke

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Media Wars – Play and Win!


Who’s team will you be playing for? Good or evil? Jarod or the Centre? 

Pick your side, follow Jarod or characters from the Centre, and voice your opinions on each article based on each team you’re playing for. If you are a Pretender fan and you end any scenario in the top 5, you can win a Pretender t-shirt!

To start playing, just go to and register for a free account. You can pick whatever nickname you’d like, no need to be associated with the Pretender.

To join one of the teams, you need to follow the characters of the side you’ll be playing for (the Centre or Jarod) and pay attention to their comments, messages and Buzzes. This will give you insider knowledge that will help you get ahead in the game – Team Jarod will tip you off on the “good” agenda, while Team Centre will tip you off on the “bad” agenda.


The Teams and Who to Follow

The Centre ( players, aka “the bad guys” need to be the leaders on each argument. Follow each player and send them private messages, so they can fill you in. Don’t forget, any info from these players is “For Centre Use Only!”





Jarod needs to be leading the arguments on each scenarios. Will you follow him and message him for more insights?




More info about Media Wars here


Pretender T-Shirt Contest Rules:

1. Only one t-shirt per player will be awarded through playing on

2. The t-shirts are limited in both layouts and size (sorry, no returns or exchanges are available).

3. To win the prize, your character needs to be following at least 2 characters from the team you are playing for (either the Centre, like “MsParker”, “MrLyle,” or “MrParker,” or Jarod’s team).

4. This game starts on March 10 and ends on March 26 2015.

5. The winner(s) have to end any active scenario in the top 5.

6. Once the game finishes, if you are in the top 5, send an email to with the subject “Media Wars T-shirt Contest,” and provide your details (name+address+size+character name on media wars) with a print screen of your follow list.

7. Comment, vote, post buzzes, and most importantly – have fun!




Update: No winners this time. The top 5 didn’t fulfill all the requirements. Stay tuned for our next contest!




Face Lift? It wasn’t a Face Lift?

It was just a little Nip Tuck. is up and running again.

Check out the ‘work’ and let us know what you think…




With Valentine’s Day on the horizon, it’s time to put those cupid skills to work. No, Mr. Lyle, we don’t mean matchmaking… we mean stringing that bow and putting an arrow of love in your target of choice!

Hannah in SL-6 has agreed to teach any willing employees for a nominal fee of chocolates and candy hearts. Practice will be weekly on the fitness track by the gym.

We hear she and Nathalie are toe-to-toe in their weapons of choice, so look out… and good luck ensnaring your lovebird during this season of romance!



The Centre is thrilled to announce a long-awaited partnership with OxCorp out of China. Mr. Lyle has been working tirelessly to attract clients in further global endeavors, and this alliance marks a new beginning for many entry-level employees seeking to gain their footing in a multifaceted job market.

We will be hosting a delegation from OxCorp this month, so please give our guests a warm Blue Cove welcome!  If any employees are interested in beginning a 120-day detail in Beijing, please contact HR for immediate placement.


We mourn the tragic loss of Tuffy the bobcat, the unofficial mascot of the entire Centre family.  Tuffy was adopted by Sweeper Sandy, who raised Tuffy from a cub to be the sweet tempered feline we all knew and love.

Tuffy was often seen roaming the corridors outside the Tech room, and somehow managed to form a friendship with the ever-elusive Centre cat, Spike.

For more information on Tuffy’s 19 years of life and how to support wildlife preservation, please visit STAR Eco Station at


Confirming many rumors have circulated recently, the Centre has been working closely with the Coalition for International Air Safety to engineer and implement anti-Stinger countermeasures. We will neither confirm nor deny, however, that we were involved in the theft of the Stinger missiles to begin with. We would simply like to caution our employees to take the corporate jet as often as possible for business endeavors.
Questions? See Vania or any member of the Centre’s air fleet. As an aside, please note your employee confidentiality agreements remain in place.

Please refer any media enquiries to the Tower ASAP. We are aware that Wolf News has been camped out in the North Lawn this week and the Sweepers, Cleaners, and Associates are working diligently to maintain continuity of operations during this time.



Netball tryouts will commence on Feb 27th and are open to all staff. While traditionally a sport for females, in an effort to bring Centre HR policy more in line with current trends, we are opening the tryouts to all Centre employees and the uniform of a short skirt will not be made mandatory.

Please note too, that netball is a NON–contact sport and if we have a repeat of what happened with the Field hockey teams, it will be shut down immediately. Anybody applying, please make sure all of your insurance is in order as the Centre will not be responsible for any injuries sustained during training or competitive play.

Please also note, that teams will no longer be organized via departments, as we feel this gave the sweepers and cleaners an unfair advantage and any off–court intimidation or bribery is to be reported immediately to ASSMO.

Remember people, this is about fun, and as long as you are in the game, you already are a winner.




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Annual Pet Adoption Day!

Who can resist to their cute little faces? Not even Miss Parker will resist this one!

Miss Mallory will be organizing this year’s Pet Adoption Day in the lobby on January 24th, with the aid of local animal shelters who are crowded with furry faces that would give everything to have a new friend in you. There will be cats, dogs, the occasional hamster, and possibly a few mutant hybrids that escaped from SL-21 last May. Mark your calendars and consider giving an animal a forever home!

If you can’t make it, there are many humane societies and shelters looking for warm-hearted animal lovers, just like you. For more information, you can start here:, but remember, adopt responsibly!

IT Security Training

Daphne will be giving online security certification training, for all you new employees. This includes personal social networks, so for those of you meeting online strangers in person (this includes your dating habits, Mr. Broots), this is for you! The class will be held in the Centre theatre at 2pm, on February 2nd.

Below are friendly reminders and some of the topics Daphne will be covering:

. Keep your passwords and all personal information to yourself (and not in a folder on your hard drive labeled “PASSWORDS”)
. Be wary of any suspicious emails you might get that appear to be sent from your bank. This scam called phishing can be used to obtain sensitive information such as passwords and credit cards. Copy and paste doubtful links is always good practice and always check the url.
. And no, Miss Naomi Surugaba doesn’t want to give you money. She wants your money instead!
. Your computer here at the Centre belongs to the company. It’s not your personal computer. Avoid saving private information, don’t leave the computer unattended, and clear your cookies – not the cookie jar, your internet cookies.

Many thanks,
Your IT Department

It’s Quiz Time…

If you dream of being the head of the IT department and you think you know everything about Mr. Broots, now it’s your time to prove it.

Click here to access the quiz. Cornelius will be proctoring to ensure there is no cheating and to verify that all answers are correct.

To gain points, please login with your username and password (or sign up to create a new one). If you get a perfect score, you will get the “I Ride a Bike to the Centre” achievement- who doesn’t want that???


Sign up today!

We’ve all seen Dr. Sydney taking care of his plant menagerie in the Centre Biodomes. Many have asked what his secret is to the pristine miniature trees, and he has finally agreed to teach a very special workshop on Bonsais.

Sydney will be helping you understand this intricate Japanese art and how to grow and keep these tiny trees in tip-top shape. Sign up today and don’t miss this chance! The workshop will be held 30 January at 3pm. Bring your own shaping materials… our extracurricular fund will supply free bonsais for everyone in attendance!

Happy Chinese New Year

For our friends in China, who are currently facing one of the most devastating economic and labour crisis ever, the New Year is not just the change of day on the calendar. It’s much more than that, and it lasts much longer than a ball drop on Times Square.

Of course the biggest celebration are the fireworks on New Year’s Eve, especially because fireworks are said to keep the evil away. But if you want to welcome the new year with a clean slate, you’d better clean your house (or your office, especially all you folks in SL-1… Brigitte has sent multiple complaints and frankly, we are tired of reading them) – it’s out with the old and on with the new!

New Year celebrations include Dancing Dragons around the 5th day of the new year. The dragon is a sign of prosperity, good luck and good fortune. Who wouldn’t want that?

Little known fact: legend has it that there was a wild beast that would come out at the end of each year. The villagers were attacked by the beast and would use loud noises and bright lights to scare it away.

The Festival of Lanterns marks the end of the celebrations, on the 15th day, with all types of lanterns being lit throughout the streets. Mr. Lyle will be in China for the whole month and will take part in all the festivities. We expect a full photo report!


Your immediate attention is required. Reporter Abigail Cross from NetNews has been sighted trespassing Centre property, trying to get statements from the Tower and illegal footage.

As some should probably know, this reporter has been investigating the stinger missiles that hit a plane in Switzerland, killing hundreds of civilians, in what was an horrendous attack that the Centre condemns.

We warn all employees that you are not to speak to any reporters and you must alert Sweeper Team 6 to any unauthorized personnel in Centre property immediately.




Saving Luke

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Broots Quiz


How much do you know Broots?

A quel point connaissez-vous Broots?


Start the quiz and put your knowledge to the test. To win the achievement, log in before starting the quiz.
Démarrez le questionnaire et mettez vos connaissances à l’épreuve. Pour gagner l’accomplissement, connectez-vous avant de commencer le quiz.


Who’s ahead of the game?

Leaderboard: How much do you know Broots?

maximum of 120 points
Pos. Name Entered on Points Result
Table is loading
No data available





The Tower is giving all the Centre Annex employees 2 extra days this season, the 26th of December and the 2nd of January. Enjoy your free days!

Please note the tunnels between the South Tower and the main building of the Centre and the Sub Levels will be closed for maintenance until January 4th. We know that rumors of an escape attempt are swirling, however we assure all that each and every asset has been accounted for and is safely in their space.

Additionally, the snack carts, cafeterias, and executive dining room will be on special holiday hours. Please check the daily posted signs by the main entrance for the special holiday menu prepared by Chef Dani and the schedule of openings and closings.

Lastly, congratulations to those that solved the code in last month’s newsletter, reading “Happy Thanksgiving from the Tower, Triumvirate, and PTBs.”


To celebrate the 12 days ‘til Christmas day, our favorite IT Specialist, the-one-and-only Mr. Broots, started his own Holiday Greeting Cards, in true Centre fashion.

We welcome everyone to check out and share each e-card. Please feel free to send these greetings to all your loved ones this holiday season!
The whole collection is


Apologies for the lack of Maker’s Mark at yesterday’s event. Unfortunately, all the supply was hijacked at the Maryland/Delaware border. All that was left was some Pez candy and a box full of fruitcake.

Miss Parker is looking into the clues to establish the perpetrator and retrieve the merchandise. She is offering a very hefty reward for anyone with information- a drink of your choice on her!


Remember Syd’s Secret Santa? If you participated, it’s almost the moment of revelation! Now, now, don’t be tempted to open your gifts prior to Christmas day. We know there have been some very curious elves making attempts to break the rules and take an early peek inside their packages.

In fact, the penalty for opening gifts ahead of time is 5 extra hours of tutoring Dara with Sydney, so he will finally get some company on those long hours with the gifted psychic. If you think we aren’t watching, remember this mantra- we see you when you’re sleeping, we know when you’re awake, we know if you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake! Happy Holidays from all of us here at the Centre!


As we still recover from our crazy Christmas party, we would like to thank everyone for their presents and presence (see what we did there?).

The highlight of the night, for those who were on assignment and unable to take part in the joyous occasion, was the eggnog. In fact, there was someone who truly revealed himself and couldn’t get enough of the stuff… Our dear colleague, Willie, was caught dancing on tables and his co-workers had to put a stop to his dance moves and drag him out, just in time to stop Mr. Raines from joining him.

We are pleased to announce no Sweepers were harmed in the clearing of the scene. We will neither confirm nor deny that the maintenance unit has created a life size countdown in SL-1 for next year’s party.




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The Ice Cube



The frosty Ice Cube, the Centre’s server archive that contains all information regarding major projects, places, and people connected to all our operations is now live at!

This ever-growing archive, containing information about the stories portrayed in the Pretender novels, is made possible through the participation of fans all around the world! Comment on each entry, send an email to, or start a topic in the forums to add your ideas and entries to the Ice Cube.  The Centre is counting on you to help make the Ice Cube the most complete archive of Pretender novels information out there!



Crypto-Analysis Division is Recruiting…

We are pleased to announce a several openings in the crypto-analysis division. These positions are based out of our Blue Cove headquarters and include a generous salary and benefits. To apply, please send the following to Centre HR resume, cover letter, and response to the following puzzle:


PS: Former or currently Emtrex employees will be automatically rejected.

What are you thankful for?

Thanksgiving, even though it’s not celebrated across all countries of the world, is a day to acknowledge and celebrate those we love the most. It’s a time for introspection.

We want to hear from all Centre associates and business partners, this year. Share your storieshere. What are you all thankful for?

PS: We would like to alert that no harm should come to Arthur, the resident turkey, in this time of the year. He is property of the Centre and a valuable asset in the bio lab.

Air conditioning system shut down for inspection

We would like everyone’s attention regarding the current situation of the heating and air conditioning units across all floors in the South Tower.

As some might know, Mr. Raines’s breathing condition deteriorated last week, a condition that the infirmary has identified as severe pneumonia. We are undergoing testing and analysis on the Centre’s air conditioning facilities in order to identify if the source of his condition relies in the ducts.

We ask everyone to cooperate and be calm during this serious time. There is no cause for concern as no other patients have been identified. However, we do ask everyone to be alert and to be cautious about any symptoms you might have, such as fever, cough and abdominal pain.

The infirmary will also be accepting all employees who wish to obtain a flu shot. Mr. Cox will be heading up this detail, so please see him with any questions.


In honor of Thanksgiving, we are opening the recipe book, sharing a treasured meal from the Parker family table.  We fervently hope you enjoy it too!

Little Miss P’s Favorite Chicken

It’s somewhere between roasted chicken and coq au vin.


  • 3 large baking potatoes;
  • 3 sweet potatoes;
  • two large onions;
  • one fryer hen;
  • assorted spices


Preheat an oven to 350. Start with a nice fryer hen, about 3 lbs. Clean and then mist with olive oil and also rub with one tablespoon butter, (which doesn’t add many calories, but does add a lot of flavor).

Sprinkle with salt, pepper, paprika (lots), garlic, and a bit of sage. Place in a large, covered roasting pan.

Now chop the onions into quarters, and add to the roasting pan. Slice the potatoes (both kinds) into inch-thick sections and add to the pan as well. (Some peeled baby carrots are nice, too.)

Next, in a measuring cup add two ounces each of Worcestershire sauce, teriyaki, soy, and whatever wine you have around. Pour over the chicken and vegetables, then cover the pan.

Put in the oven for about two hours and go do whatever you want – you’re done cooking.

Two hours later, serve the chicken, which will be wonderfully tender and succulent, on a platter. Remove the vegetables and serve separately in a large serving bowl.

Total prep time is about 15 minutes, there’s not much to clean up, and as a nice side effect, the house smells wonderful when your family gets home.

Mag-Lev Train is a success

We are thrilled to announce the success of one of our most top-secret, high asset projects: the Mag-Lev Train.

News sources covering the success of the levitating magnetic train point out that it travels 500 km/h (311 mph), speeds of which would not be possible without the engineering team on SL-21.

Our clients in Japan and around the world are eternally grateful for the long hours, weekends, and vacations sacrificed. Fear not, though- Mr. Lyle, on behalf of the Triumvirate, has authorized a time-off award of 4 hours for each employee.

Try not to spend it all at one time!




Saving Luke

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